Scariest fanfic yet

The title sums it up well enough:

Princess Celestia is Replaced by Donald Trump.

I’ll quote but one paragraph, in which DJT meets Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings:

Trump glared at the Changeling queen and stood up. “I’ve defeated tyrants like you before, Christie,” he said as he stepped down and walked up to Chrysalis. “Now, if you don’t want to be humiliated by my amazing Twitter skills, I suggest you take your little bug friends and go back to whatever backwards ass country you came from.”

Reader opinion is running about two-to-one favorable.

Poor little foal

Nothing surprising here:

Actor and comedian Jordan Peele and his wife Chelsea Peretti recently announced that they were expecting their first child and of course, names are on their minds.

But these names?

When E! interviewer Marc Malkin suggested the names Rainbow, Unicorn or Sparkles, Peele laughed and took the suggestion. “All these could work,” he said. “I am just going to look at My Little Pony and just go through the catalog … Everything we are searching for has a positivity and I think probably if we had a baby a couple of years ago, we would have chosen something cooler and more badass. But now, it’s like let’s move into the future in a positive way.”

Rainbow Dash wishes to remind you that she’s about 20 percent cooler.

For comparison purposes

How important is this place? Let’s see:

Equestria Daily: 757,451,777 page views.

This place: 6,576 page views.

How about “Not very”?

Tracks of desperation

I realize that Sethisto has to put bread on the table and all that. But three and a half minutes ago, I closed all the browser tabs except one, for the Monday Drawfriend, and seventy-eight different scripts/trackers/whatever got loaded in addition to the Actual Bucking Content.

Five minutes later, it was up to 130, with no sign of slowing down.

And they wonder why people use blocking technology.

General Leia speaking

The ponyverse owes more to Princess Leia Organa (the late Carrie Fisher) than you might have thought:

Princess Leia is the direct ancestor of Princess Twilight Sparkle, by way of Disney’s 1990’s renaissance. She was the first wildly popular “princess” who spent the whole story doing decidedly non-princessy things. Sure, she was still getting rescued by some guys, and she didn’t fly a star fighter herself, but she was tough enough to withstand torture, she was smart and tactical, and she wasn’t taking any bullshit.

It’s not fair to say that this was a drastic change from the idea of a princess. At least as far back as Sara Crewe in the 19th century, “being a princess” has implied being made of tougher stuff than a lot of people give them credit for. And for adults, Eowyn beat Leia to the scene by a couple of decades. But as far as active, competent princesses that could be successfully marketed to little girls, in the 1980s Leia was the proof of concept.

From there, Disney (the world’s largest producer of princesses and princess related accessories) picked up the torch and gave us Belle and Mulan and Tiana and made approximately ALL the money off of them. Which is why Hasbro always wants more pony princesses.

And, not entirely unrelated, we have M. A. Larson’s Pennyroyal Academy, where princesses are too busy saving the world to spend any time as distressed damsels.

Girls in the MLP:FiM demographic seem naturally attracted to the idea of being princess-y; we have Leia (and Twi, and others) to thank for the idea that being princess-y doesn’t at all preclude being a badass.

Still seriously stuck

The next chapter refuses to come to me. (See this post from two months ago.) I have no idea where to go with it.

Parallel lines

Much was made this week about Billy Bob Thornton having an opinion on MLP:FiM, specifically The Cutie Map two-parter that pushed Season 4 into Season 5; you can almost see Sethisto’s glee as he published two paragraphs from a GQ interview with Billy Bob on EQD.

What EQD didn’t print was this summation by GQ correspondent Taffy Brodesser-Akner:

The Starlight Glimmers of the world have won. They have created a society in which everyone is equal and everyone is the same and everyone watches superhero movies, the same ones with different actors. And because we were all exposed to one thing, we became one thing and we wanted one thing. We are all Starlight Glimmer now, fucking missionary like a metronome, back and forth, back and forth, feeling nothing new and wanting nothing scary. We have lost our right to have art.

Which tells me that the world needs the same sort of hard-core attitude adjustment that Twilight Sparkle more or less inadvertently visited upon Starlight Glimmer; I suspect the world’s self-justifications are probably just as lame as the Glimster’s.

It’s probably my fault

Nothing I hate worse than seeing Twilight Sparkle cry.

I hate to see her cry

(Here’s the original by Pillonchou.)

Why MLP matters

Six years into Generation Four, and it’s not done yet. I’d like to think it’s because it deals with timeless issues:

[T]he show celebrated things I thought of as virtues. And things I thought were all too rare in our culture today — stuff like being true to yourself, dealing graciously with mean people (which I have seen more crudely phrased as “dealing with a b*tch without becoming one yourself”), supporting your friends, and so on, and so forth. There have been anti-bullying episodes, episodes about how former mean-girls can reform, episodes about how you don’t have to do things that scare you just because the rest of your friends enjoy them, episodes about how what motivates one person might not motivate another … and on, and on. The overarching themes seem to be “treat other people with love and kindness” and also “be true to who you are” which are both morals a lot of us need to be reminded of.

I figure, if you can pull off something like that and still sell merchandise, you’ve earned your place in history.

Seriously stuck

It’s been almost a year since I had anything to say in The Life That Late He Led; it’s almost like Brush up and died on me before I’d finished his story.

Which was, I admit, at least part of the plan. But he deserves a better sendoff than this. I suppose I’ll puzzle over the matter a little longer.

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