Fifth digit in sight

No, Lyra Heartstrings hasn’t grown a human hand. But I just counted up my story views on Fimfiction, something I hadn’t done in a while, and they’re sitting at 9,991.

Still seems impossible, even after six years.

Update: And we have crossed the threshold. :)

The dreaded Hiatus is upon us

Or something. I’ve lived through these before; I’m sure I can live through this one.

Give her your heart, she’ll give you a quill

Scene from "Hard to Say Anything," S07E08

So they’ve ponified Lloyd Dobler? I should have expected this when they titled the episode “Hard to Say Anything.”

And anyway, Feather Bangs looks more like Justin Bieber than like John Cusack.

Maudalina Daisy

Maud Pie, older sister to Pinkie Pie

Come on, rock my world

Okay, admit it. How many of you are trying to guess the Fully Expanded Names for Marble and Limestone Pie? (Didn’t see anything at reddit, but it’s only been a few hours since the Reveal.)

You can’t do that here

At one time, this was The Law in Joplin, Missouri:

Any person who shall advertise by display of a sign, circular or handbill, or in any newspaper, periodical, magazine or other publication, or by any other means, to tell fortunes or reveal the future, to find or restore lost or stolen property, to locate oil wells, gold or silver or other ore or metal or natural products, to restore lost love, friendship or affection, or to reunite or procure lovers, husbands, wives, lost relatives or friends, or to give advice in business affairs, or advice of any kind or nature to others for or without pay, by means of occult or psychic powers, faculties or forces, clairvoyance, psychology, psychometry, phrenology, spirits, mediumship, seership, prophecy, astrology, palmistry, necromancy or like crafty science, cards, talismans, charms, potions, magnetism or magnetized articles or substances, oriental mysteries, crystal gazing or magic of any kind or nature shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor.

Bookplayer points out:

As noted in the original article, it probably violates the first amendment. But I am amused at how thoroughly it prohibits what the Mane Six do and pretty much any way they might do it.

Indeed. Even uttering the phrase “friendship problem” might arouse suspicion.

And yet I still have readers

Per Fimfiction last night, I’ve had 9,824 story views. This is close enough to 10,000 to make me wonder what the heck I didn’t do wrong.

Scariest fanfic yet

The title sums it up well enough:

Princess Celestia is Replaced by Donald Trump.

I’ll quote but one paragraph, in which DJT meets Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings:

Trump glared at the Changeling queen and stood up. “I’ve defeated tyrants like you before, Christie,” he said as he stepped down and walked up to Chrysalis. “Now, if you don’t want to be humiliated by my amazing Twitter skills, I suggest you take your little bug friends and go back to whatever backwards ass country you came from.”

Reader opinion is running about two-to-one favorable.

Poor little foal

Nothing surprising here:

Actor and comedian Jordan Peele and his wife Chelsea Peretti recently announced that they were expecting their first child and of course, names are on their minds.

But these names?

When E! interviewer Marc Malkin suggested the names Rainbow, Unicorn or Sparkles, Peele laughed and took the suggestion. “All these could work,” he said. “I am just going to look at My Little Pony and just go through the catalog … Everything we are searching for has a positivity and I think probably if we had a baby a couple of years ago, we would have chosen something cooler and more badass. But now, it’s like let’s move into the future in a positive way.”

Rainbow Dash wishes to remind you that she’s about 20 percent cooler.

For comparison purposes

How important is this place? Let’s see:

Equestria Daily: 757,451,777 page views.

This place: 6,576 page views.

How about “Not very”?

Tracks of desperation

I realize that Sethisto has to put bread on the table and all that. But three and a half minutes ago, I closed all the browser tabs except one, for the Monday Drawfriend, and seventy-eight different scripts/trackers/whatever got loaded in addition to the Actual Bucking Content.

Five minutes later, it was up to 130, with no sign of slowing down.

And they wonder why people use blocking technology.